Nothing To Say?
by Drake Missing
Summary: Draco has so much pain and suffering on his mind, but no way to express it.


Draco rubbed his neck for who knows which time in that one hour, in his usual place at the Slytherin table. The sore area had been the same way for six long months, an aching dry place without hope of quenching. It was painful to simply open his mouth.

But none of this pain was physical.

The memories were still there, clear as day itself. His father upset about his failing his mission, his father blaming him about the Dark Lords fall, his mother inwardly blaming him over her husband's suicide. The countless beatings executed in simply one day The bruises and scars still held they're place on his skin, haunting him of his countless sins.

"Hey Draco." Pansy cooed, placing a delicate hand on his shoulder. Draco looked up to see her smiling face. He simply nodded, handing a decorated card to the girl.

"Aw! For my birthday? You should have, Draky-cakes!" Pansy squealed, giving Draco a soling hug. She quieted down, sitting down in the seat next to the blonde. "Still no solution to your... problem yet?" she asked, her smile still showing. Draco nodded, turning back to his dinner. He shifted his fork in the mashed potatoes, letting the normal Great Hall chatter overtake his ears.

"'Ello darling." Blaise Zabini said, leaning on Pansy's shoulders. "Make sure you take care of that. It's our baby until we can have a real one." A small green box was placed in Pansy's lap, making the girl shine. She opened the box, a silver necklace with a diamond gemstone glistening in the center. The cut matched the engagement ring on her finger.

"How marvelous, baby! I love you!" Pansy grabbed Blaise's face, placing a soft kiss on his lips.

"Save that for later. We're eating right now!" Millicent Bulstrode sneered playfully.

"Get a room, you two!" a Gryffindor second year yelled, his friends laughing.

"Stupid Gryffindors thinking they rule us now. How sickening." Blaise sneered, sitting down at Draco's right side. "We just got laughed at by second years. Makes you wonder how angry they really are."

"I think I have a solid idea." Pansy said, raising her shirt to show a purple bruise developing on her hip. Draco gave a silent gasp while Blaise jumped to his girlfriend's side.

"Who did it?" Zabini asked, his voice full of concern.

"That Gryffindor bitch, Pavarti Patil. She must still be mad about how I tossed her books on the floor last year." Pansy said, pressing the mark slightly. Blaise leaned down to kiss it, Pansy blushing.

"Any news on your condition yet?" Millicent asked, trying to brighten the mood. Draco shook his head again. He moved his hands in sign language, a skill the friends had learned just in case this situation ever happened. The other two followed along, watching each move.

'Slughorn says he's far from a solution. So does Pomfery and Moganogal.' Draco signed. Blaise sat back down, clenching his fist in anger.

"Damn your father to hell. No one deserves to have their vocal cords shattered and torn out of their body." Draco tapped his shoulder, calling his attention.

'I like not talking. It relieves stress.' Draco signed.

"Still, no one deserves it. I miss actually having a decent conversation with you." Millicent replied, reaching to place some of the dinner selection onto her plate. Draco simply nodded, turning back to his own dinner.

The blonde stood, grabbing his bag from behind him. He signed again.

'I'm going to the library.'

"Again?" Pansy said, angling her eyebrows downwards.

"You go there every day." Zabini added.

'It's one of the only places I can have a little bit of peace. Besides, you two," he motioned to the engaged couple. ',have business to attend to.' Draco signed, leaving when his three friends gave a nod of approval. He exited the Great Hall, more than aware of the over six-hundred eyes glaring menacingly at him.

Draco thought back to the past for the second time that hour. After Potter killed Voldemort, he and his family fled, and not with light hearts. When they arrived at the manor, Lucius gave Draco the yelling of the century.

"Why didn't you kill the fucking brat? You had him in your sights, and the reason you didn't kill him is because he had your wand!?" The scolding continued until the raging adult couldn't summon anymore words. First was a punch to the face. Then a few more. Then the Cruciatus curse. Then in order to shut him up, a curse that has been eliminated from every book in the wizarding world.

Vox interfectorem. The Voice-killing curse. Directly derived from the Latin language, this curse rips the vocal cords into tiny pieces, then forcing key areas to pierce they're way our of your throat. The process felt like Death himself grabbing Draco's neck. His chest was constantly sore and ached for the missing voice box.

Two days later, Draco found himself waking to the sound of his mother weeping at his bedside. Her make-up was smeared and her hair looked like it was being torn out of her head. His neck was wrapped his bandages, along with his right arm and middle.

"D-Draco, your father, h-he's..."

Draco opened the door to the library, finding it completely empty again. With the Great Hall still bustling with dinner, it was normal for the area to be clear. He walked toward the back right corner, his normal secluded spot. The clack of his heels against the wood floor echoed, soothing his nerves slightly. He set his bag on the table, grabbing his book from inside, and read.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Harry watched as Draco Malfoy walked with his same high and mighty stature from Pansy's birthday celebration. The hall quieted slightly when he rose, making sure to keep an eye on the ex-Death Eater. He exited, the normal volume returning.

"Explain to me again how that bloody piece of scum is still at this school?" Ron asked, calling Harry's attention back to his dinner. Hermione pulled her face out of her Ancient Runes textbook, her spoon still in her mouth.

"He wasn't convicted. It was technically his father forcing him to do the things he did. And with Malfoy Senior committing suicide, they took the sympathy vote and let him go." Hermione said, scooping another glop of chocolate pudding. Ron snorted, returning to his own plate.

"I'm not hungry anymore." Harry simply stated, playing with knife against the table. The fuzzy haired genius placed a worried looked on her face.

"You were complaining about your stomach earlier."

"That was because of the potions test. Nothing to do with my hunger." Harry explained, rolling his green eyes.

"Hey Harry, take a look at his." Hermione laid down her textbook, pointing to one of the many symbols. Harry squinted.

"What is it?"

"It's the sign for Love in ancient Vampiric Romanian. And here I thought love was a useless word in their culture." She dove right back in, her ears becoming deaf to the world around her.

"I'm going to the library." Harry stood, starting to walk away. Ron looked up, surprised.

"Why there? Is something going on?" Ron asked.

"No, not really." Harry replied. "I need a book on genealogy for Divination. Boring class, but it won't hurt to plan ahead." Harry walked toward the door, more than aware of the over five-hundred hopeful eyes rewarding him silently.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••

Harry grabbed the book off the shelf, staring at the cover. 'Genealogy of Wizardry: Issue thirty-nine.' He only hoped this was the correct issue for his own family line. Harry walked toward a more hidden corner of the library, listening in case another being was there. Sure enough, a steady breathing was coming from the table.

Harry placed his back against the bookshelf dividing him from the other student. He peered over the side, his eyes widening. Draco Malfoy was sitting in Harry's normal spot, fiddling with the edge of what looked like a complex potions book. Harry's curiosity heightened, making him step out from his hiding area. Draco looked up, pausing for a moment. He stared, waiting for something to be said. Harry cleared his throat.

"Hey." Harry said quietly. Draco simply nodded, returning to his text. Harry continued standing, his stomach tightening at the tenseness of the situation. He expected a 'Sod off Potter' or a 'Are you lost, Potty?' to come out of the boys mouth. He moved his weight to his heels and back, finally deciding to take a seat across the blonde. Draco only glanced up, barely giving the brunette any consent. Harry opened his own book, pretending to look at the many names and lines. His mind remained on the other man.

Draco reached over to Harry's book, pulling on the tab leading to the 'P' section. Harry slightly stammered, stopping when the proper names started appearing.

"Thank you." Harry said, giving a small smile. Draco rolled his eyes, returning to the potions book. The two sat in silence, half of the people present intent on keeping it that way. The brunette's eyes jumped from page to person, hoping to shatter the icy exterior.

"You know, I don't think I've heard you speak since the war ended." Harry blurted, trying to make conversation. Draco sat up slowly, beginning to move his hands again. Harry looked at him, puzzled.

"What?" Draco rolled his eyes, pulling a piece of parchment from under his book, taking out a quill and ink from his bag, and began writing.

'That's because I can't.'

"What do you mean you can't?" Draco dipped the quill in the inkwell before writing again.

'I mean I physically can't talk anymore. My vocal cords are basically gone.' Draco paused, deciding that was enough. He could hear the Wonder Boy shift.

"I still don't understand." Harry stated. "How could they be gone? You talked fine before." Draco silently snorted, angling his wrist to write again.

'A curse my father casted on me shattered and ripped my vocal cords out of my throat. It's a gory and unpleasant process. We don't know how to reverse it.' Harry gagged at the image forming in his mind. Draco tapped his hand, calling Harry's attention to the parchment again.

'The only upside is I'm quite talented at wordless magic.'

"Yeah, I've noticed that." Harry said sadly, the image still in his mind. The brunette stared at his fingernails, the bottom of his stomach tightening. Draco returned to his book, keeping to himself once again. Harry continued staring, captivated by the blonde's ability to focus. Harry's green eyes trailed down the boys soft looking shoulders, leading to even softer arms. His hands were as delicate as ever, right down to the finger nail. His facial features looked just as careful and petite, like a simple tap could send him shattering. His moving eyes weren't filled with hatred or mischievousness. The emotion was replaced with a depressing, lost sort of light.

"I'm sorry." Harry said, Draco looking up again.

'For what?' he wrote.

"I don't know. Everything, I guess. You must blame me for everything that has happened to you." Harry said, looking down at his hands. They sat in silence, the tension falling onto Harry's shoulders. The paper was thrown in his vision, his eyes refocusing.

'I don't blame anyone. It's my own fault.' Harry looked up, staring intently on Malfoy's angry countenance.

"But-" Malfoy reached over the table, covering Harry's mouth with his palm. He shook his head. He sat back down in his seat, leaning against the back of his chair. He continued waiting for the conversation to continue. Harry just stared, his mind blank. Draco sighed, grabbing the parchment again, writing again.

'Why do you think I would automatically blame you?'

"Because you didn't kill me in the Room of Requirement. That's why this happened to you, right? You losing your voice?" Harry asked. Draco hesitated raising his wrist to write. He stared at the paper, his heart seeming to rise in his throat.

"Draco?" The blonde looked up again, still not knowing what to say. His mind was blank, no words coming to his hand.

'I don't know.'

"There has to be a reason. Crabbe was whispering in your ear to kill me, and you still hesitated." Harry pestered, his curiosity taking him over.

'I can't explain it. I just didn't do it.' Harry snorted, his eyes rolling. Draco's face went sour.

'What about you? Why did you save me from the fire in the Room of Requirement? You could have left me there to die! But you saves me.' he quickly scribbled. Harry read intently, his emotion changing.

"I..." Harry mumbled. Draco leaned back, his mean scowl sharpening.

"I guess I didn't want to see another person I've known for years die right before my eyes." Harry said sadly. "I've seen much more than what I've ever wanted. Some deaths less violent than others, but..." Harry turned his head, hiding the tears that began to form in the corners of his eyes. He stood, closing the genealogy book with a slam. Draco followed suit, trying to stop his visitor. Harry ignored his gestures, his tears following the over-familiar pathway.

"Sorry."

Draco stared, wide eyed as his hero ran out, slamming the door as he exited. He slowly sat back down, keeping his gaze on the door, waiting for him to come back. He slammed his fist on the table, the bang louder than the door. Draco's eyes shifted to the parchment, his scribbles of conversation burning holes into his heard. He wrote on the page again, crinkling it immediately. He threw it at the door, landing a few feet short. He packed his belongings in silence, storming away, kicking the waste can as he stomped out.

'I love you too much to kill you.'


End file.
